boring days in Noida

heyee...
            u knw i started writing my diary nd wrote 14 pages itself .. had plenty to write nd i knw i must hav missed out plenty too.. all the dues wer completed nd now my diary is up to date. nd now i can proceed with ease.. now that was the reason for me not writing since that many days coz there was plenty to write in it.. nd am happy now...
            tomorrow is my first day to office nd i wish it turns out to be good nd huge for me.. i tried to study today but couldn't study much.. just sleeping all day or writing my diary nothing much to do.. waiting for office to commence. it will get me engaged nd hope i'd enjoy that.. i won't be able to write much as i dnt hav much to share.. yesterday evening wen out to buy a few necessities nd on Sunday i was chatting with shtishtee  nd we chatted for over 3 nd half hours . i m missing Ananya wish smthing cud hav been done about it.. awl i can to is to see her facebook profile nd stay der for a while.. i told naa i feel that she's close to me der also.. i m insane i knw... what to do.. aah,,,, no idea.. hope she'll be back once again just like Shrishtee was i hav confidence in ma friendship n in god that she'll be back lets c... love u god.. hope my 1st day at office comes out to be good... signing off bbyee..

for yesterday..(i.e saturday)

heyeee...
           sorry i missed my blog yesterday.. nd i missed it coz i was damn busy all day long happened to returm to my room at 11 in the night.. nd couldn't find any cafe dat tym as my room was also closed... i was damn tired and exhausted... i am sure even if provided with a computer i wud hav fell down in no tym..
            lemme tell the whole story.. on 27th awl day long i was busy with my packings nd shifting of ma stuffs to ma maasi's home...nd in the evenin after having dinner at maasi's home i went receive abhinav nd came to ma room.. nd by 10:30 we left our room nd went to ananya's park we sat der for around an hour.. i took two rounds hoping to catch a glimpse of hers.. i was wondering why do i come to this park nd spend this much of time here.. and got the reply as its just that i want to be close to her nd i feel close to her here.. although we wer not talking to one another nd not in contacts but i missed her.. no doubt... it was her her last night in jaipur nd she was to leave tomorrow early morning.. we left her park around 12 nd headed towards Delhi.. we wer on our bike me riding and abhinav as pillion..i rode continuously for over 150kms nd then at the midway we had stuffs nd then abhinav took charge of the bike awl the way i was waiting for dharuhera to come as ananya was from dis place i dunno but i was excited about it.. nd wen it came i knw how happy nd excited i was from within.. nd then again i rode for a while nd then abhinav rode it in delhi nd we went to our boss's room nd took a nap nd then got ready nd left for noida to look for an accommodation.. but we lost our way nd took a while to return to the main track back once again.. looking for a room was not an easy task.. after searching for over 3 hours nd over 20-25 places in this huge area alas found a single room as per my needs.. although it was costly way too much higher than my budget.. thanx to abhinav i cudn't hav done it awl alone..
           after dumping my bike and my bag der we went to receive abhinav's sis nd then went to nehru place to purchase a laptop for her... they had to compromise a little bit nd bought a sony viao.. i wonder wenwill i buy my laptop... nd then again dropped her back to her hostel nd we went to KFC bud didn't feel like having any thing and i had turned veg.. abhinav asked as to why nd until wen i wud remain a veggie i told his as to it was because of ananya nd i don't know until when its gonna last... but i'll be giving my shot..nd then i waved him off at rajiv chowk nd boarded ma metro for noida... returned to ma room nd had no mattress so i   had to sleep on the floor just over a towel.. woke up nd went to receive a bag of mine that a frien was bringing from jaipur wen returned nd slept finally got up at 2pm... awww such huge sleep i had... nd i deserved it also..
so bbyee... take care..

things getting better

heyee...
    its ben quite a  tym sinc i've written my diary.. i feel bad seeing ma diary lying der.. i'm kinda getting regular here... yesterday i talked to Ankit for over four hours nd told him plenty a things that had happened nd that was going on.. i told him that while speaking to him at that tym also i was in ananya's park.. i wonde she had seen me.. i was der in her park for over half n hour..  if she had seen me, she didn't text dis tym.. he was  disappointed by my acts nd after da talks he was convinced nd was fyn..
    yesterday i seeked explanation from shrishtee too, as what was the reason of her such a behavior.. nd why was she so badly pissed of last tym.. she provided m with a solid reason nd now no regrets just dat now i ought to be a bit cautious... yesterday talked to her for over an hour arnd.. i told her the realities of a few of the guys arnd me who just play arnd with gurlz.. she was astonished as to how disgusting boys can b nd th same i had for such gurls who were prey of theirs.. we wer talking to each other as to like nothing had ever happened..
    I was getting texts from Aditi since few days knowing how i was nd if had been done with my packing nd stuffs like that and why i was not replying.. i was not replying to her texts but decided to do it once.. i told her that i was not angry on her or nything like that i'll let her knw da reason of me no replying wen appropriate time comes.. she kept quiet..
    i told ankit that i expect ananya to be back in ma life as a friend in next 6 months to a year.. he told as it was not possible as she is very stubborn.. but dunno y hav that feeling from my inner soul that yesss she'll be back nd i'll be having her back..
    i don't feel like having my bags packed.. dunno y.. i feel something is stopping me from going to delhi.. can't tell it to nyone.. not to mumma or ma mausi.. i'll no doubt miss jaipur a lot the ppl here nd those whom i got to knw in this short span they accepted me theirs.. i'll miss my student.. hope so we remain in touch..
    iit results out nd none of my known happened to qualify, i thought that bhanu(cousin) would qualify but his result was similar to last year's result, nd pratheepa also didn't qualify.. i'll punch her whenever i get a chance to do so..
    bbye for now..

being skeptical

heyeee...
    what i've thought is that instead of using the galz original name i'll be using a subtitute name.. for the girl from ghaziabad i'd use shrishtee nd for the gal from haryana i'd use ananya and for ananya's sister id use aditi..
    u kno what on Saturday after posting my blog i was returning and happened to stalk through Ananya's hostel place nd after crossing twice i decided to walk in the park in front of her hostel nd made two-three rounds nd in every round i just wished so as that i could hav a glimpse of her.. her tiffin-wala was standing there i was expecting her to come out then but she didn't i saw other girls from her hostel go in and out from her hostel. i was returning to my room nd as i crossed her hostel i saw three girls one of em was her room mate, we knew each other we had met just twice.. i wondered if she had seen me so just to make sure she gets to know that i was there i tried to make her aware of my presence.. i followed her on my bike nd crossed her nd then made sure nd certain that she gets to know that i was following her nd then she'd tell this to ananya.. nd after a while i eloped nd returnd to my room nd after a while i receiven msg from Ananya that if i want to say something to her, i replied "nahin beta, kuch nahin" nd then after a while she again textd inquiring if i wanted to say something to her roomie di i replied the same thing "nahin babu" then no more contacts.. i had shared three videos that day on facebook one was shaed only wih Ananya nd the other two with awl my frnzz.. the one only or ananya was "main tenu samjhawan ki" awesome song..
     i had wished shrishtee on her birthday nd had got the reply after arnd 8 days saying dat we can patch up again nd make things as they wer before provided that i don't repeat what i had done earlier.. i was thinking as what is wrong with this gal... the gal who didn't want to talk or even listen to my voice was wanting to patch up again.. it was really making me ponder nd ponder a lot.. i received a mail late night that she thought that  i was not replying to her mails intentionally nd was like going to reply if i didn't respond.. i replied as it was nothing like that and i wasn't angry or nything like tht nd as i was thinking as to what to reply nd how to reply.. thn she asked me lo let her knw by what tym i'd be online she'd be der by 6-7pm arnd.. but i cudn't make it as abhinav his friend vivek nd me had decided to go nahargarh fort nd then we went khole ke hanuman ji mandir it was 11pm by then so then we decided to night out so we decided to go ajmer 130 kms from jaipur we startrd our journey on our bike i alone and abhinav nd vivek on the other... and then aditi texted as to if i had been finished with my packings nd how i was i didn't reply.. i didn't reply coz its not nice to maintain contacts within the same family as ananya doesn't wish to ever talk to me again so keeping contacts wid her would somehow must bother ananya so jus to keep her free from ny doubts nd being skeptical, so i hav to do dis.. yesterday we returned in the afternoon from ajmer we didn't sleep totally tired nd exhausted nd received another mail from shrishtee that if i didn't want to talk then it was okay nd even i had the right to shout at her.. i took a bath and managed t get access to internet and mailed shrishtee.. nd we chated nd we wer chatting like before. we exchanged our contact nos..nd wen i was leaving for my room i made my way through ananya's hostel.. nd walked in the park there for the very same reason but cudn't hav a glimpse of her.. nd wen i was finally returning i made my way through the same road wer i saw her roomie.. nd then i saw her there.. she was there.. i recognised her at once.. i moved my bike so as i cud see her face.. i put my bike on high beam nd made my way at high speed through the sleek streets.. i was glad as i had seen her.. i returned to my room nd switched off my cell nd watched the movie HAUNTED which i had planned wid her nd then slept..
    today talked to ankit in the mrng and asked wen she was to leave, she'll be leaving home on 29th.. happy that she'll be here until m here.. else i'd feel lonely.. despite we are not talking to one another.. and today was talking to shrishtee she sent me her pics wen she was der in nainital.. she was looking like a diva damn beautiful..
i like ananya more than shrishtee.. i really wonder what brings shrishtee back to my life after two years.. hope to find out soon..
   

god is playing games now..

hiiii...
another friend of mine her b'day was on 11th may i had mailed her nd got the reply yesterday. we wer not talking to each other for over a year.. she had once really used really harsh words but i cudn't believe it nd still tried to keep in touch.. i was doing my part nd not expecting her replies or any kinda stuff that we would be friends again.. she replied in the mail that she had forgiven me and me not to repeat those stuffs again which i had done.. she told that she is at home for her vacations.. now the thing is that i am caught in the trap.. GOD has laid this trap and i know it well how to come out of it.. see the gal from ghaziabad she wants me to be her friend and yess i can't think me wid her in terms of nyother relation i hope u'll understand.. she is very rich nd has a powerful background.. i need to be gentle and good... and the thing with the gal who lives near dwarka is that she has a similar family background as of mine nd is good nd nice to be with she listens to u, suggests u, indeed a very nice friend.. so what i'll be doing is that i'll make more efforts on the girl from haryana rather than that i'll be making on the gal frm ghaziabad.. coz i hav more sweet memories with this gal... sorry as i am not taking their names here.. really sorry..
    today was last day at college.. yess i'll be missing my pals.. dunno wer we'll meet or not.. but these four years would be incomplete without them.. and the few faculties who wer more friends nd less teachers.. i hav't told ankit about the mail.. lst time he was pissed off when she had scolded me badly.. Abhinav was glad.. but i am not at all.. lets see what happens .. god show me the correct path...

increasing the count...

hey...

dunno know how to begin.. just giving it a shot... you know for all the while i didn; say anything to ankit about the gal coz there was nothing as in such and once when i had tried telling him he had scolded me saying plenty of stuffs which wer incorrect or wrong.. yet i didn't feel bad as he was just trying to take care of me.. this is not the reason for me not telling him about the girl the actual reason was that that the gal was his girlfriends elder sister and he talked to her in different mood he used to crack jokes nd there was plenty of humor nd laughter. she enjoyed alll this and felt light.. i wanted to see her happy and if i would have told ankit about my stuffs and my problems then he might hav not talked to her in the same manner thats why... i always isolated one from another..
i never wanted any kinda misunderstandings or bitterness to creep in between them. thats the reason.. in the lst few days i hav been making rounds near her hostel hoping that i could have a glimpse of hers but yeah i seriously didn't want her to watch me doing so. today was her practicals she had once told me that her practicals would be on 19th and now just after a few days she will go back to her hometown and no more info about each other.. i am trying to get a room in Dwarka in delhi.. although it would be way to far from my office.. the reason being that it would be near her home just an hour from her home.. but my office would be more than one and a hours from there.. in the evening while i walk the streets and while i ride through the roads i scan so as to locate and identify her.. when i am online i don't know how many times i creep into her profile... i am excited to go to delhi.. make new friends there nd a new professional life over there.. hope awl would be fine there.. i hav not written my diary since me and the gal stepped back.. it would make me recall each and everything which i don't want to..
i got to go now.
take care and ya god loves us awl..
love u god...

just a lil more to it..

hey.. hope awl are fine..
its my second page nd I've thought of something and that is i'll try writing my blog every TTS(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays). will try to be regular.. In the last few days I've let go a friend whom I had considered very special  and wanted to give her plenty of happiness and all that i could have offered her.. but we departed.. nd her decision was that she won't ever talk to me again.. The last time we talked to each other and said goodbye the duration lasted for over two and half hours.. the longest conversation we had.. i let out everything in front of her, except for a few things.. she told she gets bored of a person very quickly as she feels she has already known much about that very person.. but what i feel is that there is there is never an end to knowing some one... i don't know whether she was rite or wrong nd whether i am right or wrong.. i hav plenty of good and bad memories within me.. but yess she was nice, but yet a lil childish.. i tried knowing about her but she never opened up much.. plenty  and plenty of memories.. thats awl.. i'll be writing them here.. just one for today i really njoyed the moment wen she was getting late to reach her hostel nd we wer having ice-cream together so we opted to hav it on our way back to her hostel.. but it began to melt as we wer on the bike.. she had hers and mine ice-cream both with her.. she fed me with the ice-cream.. with the melted ice-cream all over her hand.. that night was really nice and i bet she will also remember it.. i am now trying to be the same as i was trying to forget everything but i think that its not possible.. those memories will be still there within me.. i dnt knw how bad ankit will feel when he comes to know about all this.. he only knows lil bit and from the outside .. he doesn't know things from the depth.. Abhinav also knows quite a lot in this aspect..
today my sister(pratheepa) her result was declared.. she secured 90.5% that's huge.. i was to offer her a wish of hers if she had secured more than 75.. i won't write much today.. that's all..
thanks///
god i love you ..

my very first blog..

hii awl..

i bow to u as u visited my page..

i don't hav writing experience over blogs.. so i really hav no idea as what one wishes to write in it. i wud be writing just for one reason nd no other reason to it. And that reason is for my very special person.. my writing is dedicated just for my special person who so ever she shall be.. i bow in gratitude to her.. i hav been through a bit of rough patches over a few years and wud be discussing each and every thing as i continue.. i dnt know how much regular i'd be. but i'd try to share and write as much as i can.. i hav plenty in my heart to share lets c how much i can squeeze out from it.. there is a reason behind naming my blog as "mann ki baatein" actually its in dual sense firstly its because my mumma calls me 'mann' so mann ki baatein and the secondary mann(in sense of heart) the things that toggle through ma mind nd heart which i hav seldom outspoken them ... some of the things that i'd be revealing would be really the top most secrets which till now only Ankit(best friend) knows.. i always wanted to share things with someone close but i've not had .. i bow to god as he has given me the best of pals nd family.. thanx god..  i think this much for today is fine.. nd ya  Abhinav(best friend) he is also unaware of those few things which Ankit knows.. its as bad thats y.. thats what makes me ponder nd turns me off.. yet i put it awl on childishness nd move forward.. love u god..